At last I finally found a male friend whom I think is mature enough to handle my immaturity and whimsicality. I have been evading the thought of getting into this cobweb of complexities; but then I realized that, "hey. I have nothing to lose if I try. I have much to lose if I won't." It began with a little attraction. I'm attracted to him, for some reasons I cannot fathom. He admitted that he is too. We both love each other--but it isn't the type of love worth-dying for. I love him as a friend. That's one thing for sure. Who knows maybe one day I might as well fall deeply in love with him? I'm looking forward to it, really... Right now, I just badly want a male bestfriend whom I can confide with. I found him, at last! This is the best new year I've ever had in the past 21 years! Happy happy new year to me!!! :D :D
My blog entry today is a bit murky. I feel like saying a thousand things at a time right now. Let's see. Where do I begin?
(1) I still have not resolved my career dilemma. I cannot have everything. There will always be a "but" in each choice. If I go to medical school this June, I'll be stuck in the Philippines for the next decade; and I do not want that because I want to travel the world. In addition, if I'll go to medical school, I will probably not marry and I badly want to have children. I also abhor the stench of formalin on dead people. If I'll accept the scholarship for a master's degree in Biology major in Genetics, after two years of studying, I will be obliged to work for another two years in this University--and I do not want that because I am freakin' bored in this place. Now if I'll wait another year, I am 70% certain that I will be able to get a scholarship to study abroad by September 2011. There's the remaining 30% uncertainty which I have to deal with. What I like best about the third option is that I might stumble into a handsome and profound Caucasian who can love me like crazy. Then my age-old dream of bearing handsome and beautiful hybrid children will finally come true! Oh. What the hell am I thinking? Haha
(2) Second thought. I voraciously ate during the holidays. To my dismay, however, I have not gained weight. I'm still 40 kgs, I guess. I really adore my body that's why I will do the best I can to preserve its contours. With little fat, my body will not have any shape. I want to gain weight so I can store fat in my breasts and thighs; once I have done that, I will trim down my waist. Then, I will be ready for my next photoshoot (best, if you're reading this, I am reminding you to toss the link to your new blog! I miss you! And best, I will learn to use the camera so I can take your pictures too!)
(3) I want to dance again. My friend Mon said Groovestylz has been conducting dance classes since November. My problem is that the classes are held from 6pm to 10pm. I would really love to join and move this sedentary body of mine... but circumstances forbid me so. :-( I need to find another class which are being held morning or afternoon. It may not necessarily be a dance class. I'm thinking of learning martial arts so I can protect myself. I can kick really high. Maybe I should learn Muay Thai. Muay Thai is nearly no different from kickboxing. What makes it distinct is the range of kicks. In Muay Thai, you can kick below the belt! I really love the thought of kicking eggs of pervs who will try to harass me! :D
Anyway, I have to go home now. I need to do a lot of thinking tonight.
(Baby, I really hope you have not discovered this blog yet. :S Sorry about awhile ago. (hugs))
My blog entry today is a bit murky. I feel like saying a thousand things at a time right now. Let's see. Where do I begin?
(1) I still have not resolved my career dilemma. I cannot have everything. There will always be a "but" in each choice. If I go to medical school this June, I'll be stuck in the Philippines for the next decade; and I do not want that because I want to travel the world. In addition, if I'll go to medical school, I will probably not marry and I badly want to have children. I also abhor the stench of formalin on dead people. If I'll accept the scholarship for a master's degree in Biology major in Genetics, after two years of studying, I will be obliged to work for another two years in this University--and I do not want that because I am freakin' bored in this place. Now if I'll wait another year, I am 70% certain that I will be able to get a scholarship to study abroad by September 2011. There's the remaining 30% uncertainty which I have to deal with. What I like best about the third option is that I might stumble into a handsome and profound Caucasian who can love me like crazy. Then my age-old dream of bearing handsome and beautiful hybrid children will finally come true! Oh. What the hell am I thinking? Haha
(2) Second thought. I voraciously ate during the holidays. To my dismay, however, I have not gained weight. I'm still 40 kgs, I guess. I really adore my body that's why I will do the best I can to preserve its contours. With little fat, my body will not have any shape. I want to gain weight so I can store fat in my breasts and thighs; once I have done that, I will trim down my waist. Then, I will be ready for my next photoshoot (best, if you're reading this, I am reminding you to toss the link to your new blog! I miss you! And best, I will learn to use the camera so I can take your pictures too!)
(3) I want to dance again. My friend Mon said Groovestylz has been conducting dance classes since November. My problem is that the classes are held from 6pm to 10pm. I would really love to join and move this sedentary body of mine... but circumstances forbid me so. :-( I need to find another class which are being held morning or afternoon. It may not necessarily be a dance class. I'm thinking of learning martial arts so I can protect myself. I can kick really high. Maybe I should learn Muay Thai. Muay Thai is nearly no different from kickboxing. What makes it distinct is the range of kicks. In Muay Thai, you can kick below the belt! I really love the thought of kicking eggs of pervs who will try to harass me! :D
Anyway, I have to go home now. I need to do a lot of thinking tonight.
(Baby, I really hope you have not discovered this blog yet. :S Sorry about awhile ago. (hugs)
0 comments:
Post a Comment